VidaKashizadeh

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Lost in the desert of the mind

I can see the dark blue sky

and the half moon

It is beautiful

regardless of me

The ruin I saw as a child

in the middle of the palm trees

is now manifest.

I know the beauty is there

But my perception is numb

my mother is dead

and with her all illusions.

I stopped smoking last week

So that I could be useful

to myself

Then realized

those scattered fifteen minutes

of smoke

were the meanings

of my life

now I’m abandoned

to meaninglessness

first I indulged in this

meaninglessness

as time can not be captured

with smoke

in my lungs

The tyranny of time

there is a chimney

in my lungs

leading to the dark

blue sky

my heart is the black hole

and there lies the desert

of my mind.

Vida Kashizadeh

21^st August 1999