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Outsight and Inside Out - Part 10 (1-10)

20^th September 2005

کنارآب لند ا س نزدیک ظهر

من د ید م

که تو از مرد مک خا لی چشم ا لهه مجسم تفاهم مهر

به بیرون غلتید ه

با حرکا ت موزون ِ

یک شیرجه بی مقصد

ذ رّا ت هوا را ازهم شکا فتی

وآنگا ه بما نند د ولفینی خند ا ن

آبی ِ ِدریا را درآغوش کشیدی

و با سفید بازی ِ کف کف کردی

و آن غنچه بسته خا رد ا ر

خا رها یش را ریخت

که با لبخند تو

با ز شود

واگرچه به گفته ماهیگیر ِتیرا ند ا ز ازکما نی صلیبی

مرد ی د راین محّل

د ولفینی را با فشنگ در حضورتوریستها کشته ا ست

- مردی خود نما و بی شّک بی لیا قت –

د ورهُ قتل د ولفین ها دیگرسپری شد ه

و حا ل نوبت شیرجه من ا ست

که با تو با زی کنم.

آن آبی و سفید را بیا ند ا ز

که با هم

تپ تپ

و لب لب کنیم

Internet Café 1.30 p.m.

Eine Schnur von der Unendlichkeit

Deiner Seele

zur meiner

die glücklicher ist

sich auf kleineren Zufriedenheiten

zu begrenzen

Und weißt du

Es ist möglich mit uns

denn wenn ich nicht so glücklich bin

mit meiner Seele außer der Grenze

Du bist dann glückhaft zufrieden

Inerhalb der Grenze

mir ganz nah

dich zu setzen.

Es ist die Zeitlichkeit

Zwischen uns

die es mit uns möglich macht.

1.55 p.m.

Are these ice rocks or lime stones

Am I touching your heart

Are these waves

breaking on granite rocks

Am I running bare feet

On your shimmering chest

feeling the beat on my Yongquan

that is calling me

Calling me with a whisper

A hiss of a wave withdrawing

Calling me to sit on the shimmer

and kiss the ground

- the granite –

that carries the heart

that beats with a hiss

and brings back

the blood

that feeds

the life in me

and it’s bliss

to run bare feet (or bear’s pod) on your granite rock chest

and then sit in order to kiss the ground

3.04 p.m. Ky… beach

سخا وت صخره

به د ریا

شیر ِ نشسته به شکل ا بوا لهول

خیره به د ورا د و ر

- ما وراء رؤیت من-

به سا حل لیبی

و به فراموشی تا ریخ

علفها ی دریا ئی خشک

روی سا حل

سفید و چا ئی و قهوه ائی

مخلوط با سنگها

و یه قل د وقل های فراوان

بی همبا زی

ولی بی هیچ کمبود ی

آ فتا ب

مشغول به سوزش پوست

و نگاهها ی کنجکا و و فرا ری

سنگهای سفید

محا صر ِ د رختان ِ نونها ل

محفوظ با سیم ها ی کهنه

- فرشته های نگهبا ن –

برای د ور نگهد ا شت ِ حیوا نی بی فکر

که هر برگ نرم

وسوسه ا یست برا یش بسوی جنبش آسیا ب چا نه

و قرچ قرچ د ند ا نها ی عا جی تیز

که تخریب را

د ر گوشش

موسیقی می کند.

Later…

غلتشی د ر موج

و پوستم که به زیر پوست آ ب می خورد

و تکه ا ئی ا ز د ریا شد ن

بیش از قطره ا ئی

بسیا ر بیش تر ا ز قطره ا ئی

آ وا ز پرند ه ها د رجوا ب صوت ا موا ج

و چهچه چه هي…س

و چهچه چه هي…س

و چهچه..هي…س

چیچیچیک سس…

چیچیک هس—-

چیک هسس

Wednesday 21 Sep 2005

Last night had a bit of struggle with heat and mosquitoes.

Although the table-fan was on all night, I couldn’t have it facing me, as my body doesn’t like it, and so it didn’t seem to make a difference.

But I killed a lot of mosquitoes with the towel.

It reminds me of the end of the year exams at high school in Teheran, when I had left the revision to the last minute and would keep awake to read ‘till early hours of the morning.

And then the flies would really get on my nerves, and I would get up and do a proper slaughter with a fly swatter. I think it was probably quite noisy hitting them on the window etc. but my parents never complained, so I’m not sure if they could hear me from upstairs. Well they knew what a nuisance the flies could be.

Today the breeze is strong which makes sunbathing easy but more dangerous as one wouldn’t notice the limits so easily. I better turn.

Had a swim. This is more than a breeze and less than a wind making swimming quite a struggle.

There is only one bus a day leaving Lendas at 6.30 a.m. Herman must have gone.

I didn’t see him yesterday as I didn’t feel like eating in the restaurant. So we missed exchanging e-mail addresses and saying farewell.

But that is okay because it is a part of lone travelling to meet people for the time.

Years ago I used to always exchange phone numbers and addresses, and then I noticed that I hardly ever followed it up and the same must have been for most of them. Then I stopped doing it and just said goodbye.

With e-mail these days it is of course different, because although it is so immediate, it is also non committal.

Exactly because it is so immediate and at spear of the moment, but at the same time so faraway, that is almost like travelling, not physically but in mind.

I learned the following from Herman:

- On the hill behind Lendas there is a place called Levin. There are two columns still standing. The sanctuary of Asklepios has been an ancient healing place with spring water where people used to come and pray for their ailments to be cured. It was in use until 1960 when the water was diverted.

The two guide books I have with me have only the name Levin but no details. Herman had a better book - with local details - and the curiosity of a lone traveller.

- That 35% of Dutch people – including him – are catholic. Hence he was from a family with 5 children.

- He was the one before me who had heard about the cats’ killings and this has helped me to not leave this place ignorant about its inhuman side.

We were both called to this healing place to discuss its sick side. And perhaps I can play a role in changing this even if it’s going to be very slight

- The confirmation that one lone traveller speaking to another who knows the place will put you in picture about the place that families and ordinary couples will not be able to do.

This is perhaps more true of lone men as they are likely to get integrated as mates by the bar and restaurant workers in a place like Greece for instance?

Back to the subject of e-mail, well, I really think people shouldn’t take the exchange of e-mails as a commitment for friendship or anything else. It definitely is not the same as having a conversation on the phone (which is likely to prove disastrous for people who have written easily to each other via emails).

Or just imagine writing a letter would mean a lot more today than it did 20 years ago. I mean just going to buy a stamp for sending the letter would mean a lot.

It’s the difference between fast food and an excellent restaurant - to eat because you are hungry and to eat because you have appetite.

22^nd Sep. 2.07 a.m.

Kharzahreh => baptised by a delirious journalist called Jimsho Jafangski

…. His wife, instead of using an islamically sanctioned whip to make him stop licking the screen, starts - as any woman who would say yes [Persian equivalent to ‘I do’] to Jimsho would – hitting the screen.

The more she hits the screen the more he licks the screen.

Meanwhile the donkey had enough and ran to the late Vittorio De Sica and asked him to make another film in which he could be sat on by Sophia Loren instead, even though it was 50 years later. This he said has been his dream ever since he knew what carrying meant.

Later in the day a charitable neighbour noticed the mayhem and suggested a couple counselling specifically designed for control freaks and their frustrated wives. He said that this would at least help them to stop barking at the wrong tree. Life could be rosy if you made it cosy.

Another neighbour whose screen was getting wet and guessed that someone in the area must be licking their screen, walked by and said to Jimsho:

‘I was a feminist since birth and was lucky enough to have parents who didn’t even let a khaastegaar visit our home. There is a concept in feminism according to which men see a woman either as Maria or as whore. But I have no time to educate you. I have too many ideas and little time left to make them known. If you can’t cope with your screen buy a bunch of straw instead, otherwise I will move to a different neighbourhood. Not because I am angry with you but because I have different priorities. And let me tell you, you are lucky to have me as your neighbour now, because 20 years earlier you wouldn’t have been able to get a glimpse of me let alone neighbourhood.

As a matter of fact I have stepped down the ladder in order to be more in service for common good.

Your other problem is of course that you are a one man show. The problem with a one man show is that when he freaks out the show turns to a freak show. We had a good example of this with the last shah of Iran (alhamdolelahelrabelaalamin).’

Then she said to Jimsho’s wife:

‘Woman, grow up! If you insist to stay with a man who spends 18 hours a day licking the screen then at least give him some good whipping. Not for the sake of Marquis de Sade but for the sake of all those women who have been whipped and stoned in Iran for the last 25 years. It will make you feel better but also it makes a man out of a creep. For months he was making a joke of you on the screen. Were you blind or was I too sharp? Well, whip him woman! Whip him! (and be assured I have no interest in petty engagements). So don’t hit the screen, as no one can compete with a screen, just whip him. Who knows he might even enjoy it and say hello to the ever present spirit of De Sade in this room.’

The feminist neighbour left while thinking how she admired all the nations who had put Iranian men in their place throughout the history.

Internet Café / nearly 2 p.m. (I am the only customer. An exercise in remembering the taste of flowers)

نزدیک 2 بعد از ظهر من تنها مشتریم

تمرینی د ر به یا د آ ورد ن مزه گل ها:

گل نخو د ی:

تو شیرین و مخملی گلبرگها یت به نرمی ُ لپ های یک نوزا د است

و خود ت را به زبا ن آویزان می کنی که ازتپه گوشتی نیفتی

با زت می کنم و بوی تو بوی تو خوشترین ا ست

تو دُّ رد ا نه ا ئی و می د ا نی که دُّ رد ا نه ا ئی

گل جعفری:

تو گسی. با زرد یت می گوئی بمن فکرکنید ولی مرا نبوئید غلظت رنگم را درخا طره اتان جا دهید ولی مرا با د ند ا ن خرد نکنید. با گلبرگهای من بازیِ ِ شمرد ن کنید ولی مرا قورت ندهید که به ِمری اتان خواهم چسبید وتا معد ه ، گسی ام را پا ئین می برم. مرا بیا د بیا ورید. زردی غلیظ من انگشت سبا به است.

آفتا ب گرد ا ن:

مرا د رآغوش بکش. من بزرگترا زآ نم که د رمزه بگنجم. من ا زتو بلند ترم خا نه تو می شوم بیا بین ما د رجنگل کوچک ما. ولی بزودی خواهی شنید که ما روی قبرجوانان گمنا م روئیده ایم و د یگربه پیش ما نخواهی آ مد.

گلبرگ من نرم و حریری است. من حسّا سم و همه نیرویم را به تخمه ها یم می دهم که توبخوری و به زردی حریری من روی لبها یت فکرکنی.